There’s a post I keep seeing on social media: I meditate, do yoga, light incense—and I still want to smack somebody.
It’s easy to adopt the erroneously popular ‘standard of perfection or goodness’ for spiritually minded people right now. Yes, if you hold the awareness that we are all connected, it can feel “off” when anger or frustration bubbles up. But you are a human being—born with love, kindness and generosity, true—but also composed with a myriad of emotions, and not all of them are “pretty.”
When you are in a heart-space—centered and loving—it feels so good. You can land there easily after yoga class, spending time with friends, or cooking from the heart for those you love.
But when you judge yourself for not being in that space of ‘love, light & rainbows’ all the time, you are being deeply unkind to yourself, which isn’t likely to help how you feel. So, just as you strive to show compassion all the time for others, never forget to show that same level of compassion for yourself.
Life on Earth School is hard and complicated. You get your feelings hurt, you get pissed off, you get embarrassed or afraid and you misbehave. It’s just part of the mix—part of the beauty (yes, beauty) of being human.
And in those moments of being out of balance, it doesn’t matter that you know better—that’s just where you are at that moment. The key is to realize that these feelings are temporary, and sometimes all you want is someone who loves you to whom you can vent.
Instead of being hard on yourself by holding up perfection as the standard, what if you focused on the more critical question: how quickly can you reset when you lose it?
My top pathways back to being centered are getting into nature, yoga, meditation, and phoning a friend. Often, I’ll turn to tarot to seek clarity on the situation that’s bothering me. But the overarching tool I’ve come to trust daily is Forgiveness. I have to forgive myself first, for not being who I want to be at all times and in every moment; and then, I’m able to forgive others. You have to remember your humanity before you can acknowledge it in others, then remember that we are all still learning in earth-school.
Once you can connect with that sentiment fully you can start to find your way back. Try to bring your internal focus to the situation or person that has triggered you. Search for the humanity of the exchange, and call upon forgiveness (both for self and others) in the situation.
Remember too, that to forgive doesn’t mean to condone whatever is. Forgiveness gives you permission to stop losing your energy, to stop pushing against what is or what has happened. The best forgiveness summary I’ve read is, “To not forgive someone is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.” Forgiveness, and compassion, frees YOU and your precious energy.
So take a moment and free yourself from false cultural standards of being ‘a good spiritual person’ every second of every day, and embrace the full spectrum of your humanity: feel all the feels. Then focus on your true superpower: on how quickly you can re-set to your own standards of happiness, contentment, joyfulness—and yes, forgiveness— for yourself, and others.
No matter if you’re clearing a pathway step-by-step, or starting a global movement, you need support to navigate your steps forward in the most elegant, energized and efficient way. I suggest the Athena Sisterhood. This program is designed for each woman to be and bring her best. The Support of the Athena Sisterhood is one where you are unconditionally seen, heard and valued. It serves as your foundation for your continued elevation in how you live your life.
You are supported as you support others towards empowerment and grace. All that is required is to show up fully you, accountable for your powerful light and accessible to your expansive compassion.